I wanted to give a Friday Shout out to Hyacinth at Undercover Mother. A blog post she wrote on Monday here popped on my Google Alerts (keywords: raising boys) and I'm so glad it did.
Her post about raising boys all wrong strikes a chord in me right now. My boys are almost three and definitely overrun me on a daily basis. Since their sleep is not consistent or even present at times, I'm constantly tired and have a hard time maintaining a respect for their growing needs. I often find myself yelling at them and it's crushing to see their faces fall, yet I can't stop. I can't meet my own needs for sleep or even a shower so I feel I am failing at meeting theirs. Top it off by my challenges in finding and connecting with other moms (IRL) who strive to support and respect their children and I just end up feeling alone and frustrated. I should say I have a great community of supportive moms online but we all know it's nice to see a friendly face now and again.
So what I'm getting at is that, at a time when I'm feeling the least receptive to influence, Hyacinth's post serves as an important reminder to me to honor my boys' innate boyness and the crazy, needy, loud, quiet, jumping love they can't wait to smother all over me. They need me in ways I learn anew every day and if I am to be really present and meet those needs, I should first just listen. Not try to change their clothes or do the dishes or pack the car, just listen. They'll tell me in one of a dozen different ways what they need and if I'm really listening, I'll hear it louder every day and realize how easy it can be to be give them what they need to be the best boys - and men - they can be.
Another note about Hyacinth that I think is important to mention; her relationship with God that infuses her writing with such a brilliant perspective on raising children. This isn't the traditional strict, children-should-be-seen-and-not-heard perspective. It's refreshing and personal and new, at least to me. Check it out. I'll keep reading her blogs for inspiration and as a reminder that even if I'm feeling alone as a SAHM, I'm not really by myself.